Gifts for your Sweetheart

Slippy over at Slip of a Girl blog recently posted some words of wisdom regarding the purchase of lingerie for Valentine's day.  It seems a poll she blogged about showed that NO women wanted to recieve lingerie for V day!  Wow, I found that to be pretty shocking.

Slippy implied that perhaps it was the giver that was the problem and perhaps the intent of the gift was being a selfish gesture and not a giving one.  I happen to feel that lingerie is in fact just as much a gift to the giver as to the recipient, but that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing.  If you're a clueless or tactless man looking to spice up your lady's undie drawer, you can still give her lingerie, just pick out a gift certificate or even better make a date out of it and take her to the store in person.  Let her know how important she is to you by sharing the experience together.

The idea behind V day is to make your loved one feel, well, loved.  Of course she wants to know you think she's sexy, but she also wants to know you love and respect her as a person.  If you give her those things, there's no limit to how much better your relationship will be and to how much she will give back to you in return.

I remember giving some lingerie to a GF once for V day and not getting the reaction I thought I would.  Now I know she felt loved and respected by me.  I was madly in love with this girl in every way.  In that case it was a body identity thing and I think she felt that she wouldn't live up to my fantasy when she put it on, but she couldn't have been more wrong.

Lingerie can be a complicated gift because of all the unsaid things that go on in our heads.  We have certain ideas in our mind and they have theirs.  Best if both parties don't put too much thought into the gift and just enjoy it for what it is, a thoughtful present.  As I said earlier, if you want to play it safe, just get a gift certificate.

Going to the store together can be quite an adventure.  Most men seem uncomfortable in a lingerie store.  I think for many men, the thought of lingerie is so intertwined with sexual thoughts that they feel guilty or that other people will read their dirty minds when they venture into such a store.  My point here is that she might be aware of this fact and that you as a man are not comfortable in that type of store.  The fact that you're there with her will give you points.  She'll appreciate it, or should.

Let her lead the way as far as what she wants and you can help.  Tell her you think that one would look hot on her.  Help her pick out a color.  Keep in mind that her idea of racy, sexy or daring may be completely different than yours.  The idea is that she feels comfortable and then she'll feel sexy, so let her pick and choose what's right for her.  You can build up to more things you like in future shopping trips.  Make the experience fun and flirty for her and it'll be the same for you!

PS: Pictured today is the Donna Eleonora Babydoll by La Perla, available at Faire Frou Frou and other fine lingerie boutiques.